100km trail goal

have decided to do the 100kms trail race in the blue mountains in may 09. a goal.!
will need michelles help to do it. that means ive got to talk. regress. ive regressed. because of new years day!?? f*** me!

havent done enough exercise today, though, did do weights.... so hopefully thats 'ok' .. went to the gym AFTER pump had started, that way i didnt have to have a conversation with kerrin :( - its all still too raw to deal with .... i had such hopes ...

and, after pump and before balance, i went out for a short run, actually, went and did sprints in the park ... so,. between classes there was no chance of bumping into her, then, by the time that had finished , i had left cos i had to get home to get storm to work. i still cant beleive she just simply didnt turn up :( and i still cant believe she hasnt even answered the text and its like, to her, nothing is even wrong :( knowing people, sucks. - better, oh so much better, to just be on my own.

my shoulder is still sore. it cant be from darts cos until this afternoon when i did play some with tobias, i havent played for two days and it is still just as sore. i couldnt do bench press - only did half a set then stopped because it was too sore.

oh, and all that walking and trail running, and i only lost 400grams :/ that sucks. my weight is up 1.8kgs from when michelle last weighed me. how hard it is to know the right and wrong things to do, to eat more, to eat less, exercise more, exercise less. it is DAMN hard.

total calories 1491 - total used up from metabolism and exercise 3198 which leaves a deficit of -1707. not enough calories .. got to get back on track so my body isnt in 'starvation ' mode and michelle says i look 'bloated' when she sees me -- read.  fat!! in other words.


Post a Comment