:/

sometimes life is just about surviving ... it's about all we have the energy to do ... no thinking. no excess. sometimes. i have such an excess, surviving, is difficult. its where i find myself right now :/

and all i can think about. is being dead. and the peace it will bring :( no more pain. no more hurt. no more, to be punished for ... and i would be, forgiven. because, if people are dead, you care about them right and forgive all the bad things that they did ?....

if only i could go through with it .... what a joy i would give ... to so many.

i can only be sorry, to those, that have the unfortunate role of having to deal with me. i really. am.

sorry,