new year magic

a good start to the new year is imperative for the mindset

so, after a failed attempt in 2009 at doing the great walk (a 27km trail run in the whitsundays) with a friend, the result simply from lack of communication and a complete misunderstanding, (i was waiting for her at 6am, she had already taken off at 5.30 and i hadnt known) but which prompted me to withdraw for 10 days and lingered in the background (to me) for a while despite sorting it out...
i attempted, encouraged with her prompting, to recreate the situation for this year and we were going to start with a fresh and new 2010 together
but, circumstances turned out, yesterday morning, she told me she couldnt do it anymore. thats ok, i said, and smiled, so she didnt feel bad. but oh how disappointed i was. depression took over and i allowed it to consume me, and wallowed all day in self pity - envious of all those that live in brisbane or sydney and get to run with so many others constantly, plus in some wonderful varying trails.
i had this *one day* of the year....
despite her reason being valid, i set myself to imagine all the *real reasons* she wasnt doing it anymore, all self denigrating. i mean, who would want to spend 4 or 5 hours running with me!?
i was making myself sick. storm, whom i had been taking to work via a gym detour, had been with me when she told me, constantly txted me throughout the day, concerned by my (over) reaction, but mostly, to tell me to pull it together and to just go run. which, originally, until early week, i was doing on my own anyway..
AND i had to do it for myself as cradle mt is only 5 weeks away, and it was on my training schedule .... i dont have time to let myself fall apart at the moment ...
i am always amazed how i managed to create such a together and smart, strong daughter

however, early afternoon, another guy, from the tri club, upon emailing me, enquiring my running schedule for the next week, said he would do it too. he used to run it on the odd occasion with me but the tri club people dont really like the terrain, or hills!, and a couple months ago his trainer didnt want him doing trails anymore, so he caught me by surprise with the offer ... not my partner of choice, but, lovely gesture, i said ok. then, somehow, he pulled something in his neck. he emailed me to say he was leaving work early to get 12 hours of lay down time so hopefully it was better for this morning but now wasnt sure he would be able to actually run.
run or not, he said he would meet me at one end and we could leave my car there and give me a lift back to the beginning (its a one way trail) - so, at 4.30am this morn, we meet, he could barely move his head. thats an incredibly genuine reason to not run, he could barely drive! but yet, after new years eve, with a neck he couldnt turn, he got up at 4am just to drive me - how can i turn that around to someone not liking me and looking for an excuse to get out of it? my mind and the places it goes astounds me - what he did was beyond the call of mateship, yet, once again, disappointment. the run, new years day, would be alone. (i have to stop reading about all the running get togethers of the brissy sydney folk! and reel in the green demons.)

it was pouring rain as we drove. past many a midnight reveller making their way home in all manners of drunken states and dress. we got to the beginning and hopped out into the rain and just chatted awhile and i eventually said, i better start cos i wanted to be finished by 10. youre still doing it! he questioned. uhmmm, yes, "GOOD GIRL" - sometimes he makes me feel im 10 years old! - he was proud of me though, simply, making the choice and going, thats to my benefit. (but it goes back to a depression blog ive written earlier) i knew once i started, i would be doing what i loved, and i would feel good. so, with promises of contacting him when finished so he knew i was out and safe at the other end, and assurances i was ok, i took off .....

the bonus was, i LOVE rain running up here in the tropics.
it was so wet, so muddy, so 'damn i feel alive fine'!!!!! it was the best way for me to do it. i could go at my own pace, i didnt have to communicate, and, i was one with nature. it was a perfect running day. i slipped and slid in the mud, i got so dirty, my shoes baked so deep with mud they had no grip, and it was the absolute greatest fun - except for a handful of open sections, the trees and palms caught most of the rain which fell through in heavy droplets clunking on my head, so green and beautiful, the smell was magnificently fresh, the birds coo'ed the whole way, i fought many a cobweb, tangled with many a thorned vine, my legs are scratched to buggery - i was about to land on the head of a carpet snake half buried under a pile of leaves, i have one live on my driveway so they dont bother me, but, im glad i didnt land on his head, and i did pull back and stop the wrong side of him and had to figure how to get past. my only choice in the end to actually simply step over the top of him! a carpet snake wont hurt a soul, but they still make your hairs stand on end! i fell only once, a steep downhill section so boggy but it was just like tobogganing - i slid and slid and got up and figured. well. that saved me running a few metres! crossed rivers and newly rain made riverlets!
about 15kms in, i hit a spot where the canopy of greenery wasnt so dense at the top of one of the mountains, and the rain was so heavy, i was drinking it in instead of the camelbak! no exageration. but the mist, lay heavy in the trees and palms of the rainforest, so mystical, and it was pure magic! thats when i felt so happy with what i was doing, so happy i went ahead and didnt continue to self wallow, and felt, so damn lucky, i was the one got to witness it.

know what?
thousands of people chose NOT to do the great walk trail today. (i NEVER understand that every single time i do it, why isnt everybody!)
hundreds of people went down to the beach last night to watch the man made fake *beauty* of the fireworks which pale so much in comparison
yet, i was the one - one - singular - absolutely lucky soul, that got to witness the pure beauty of a hot, wet, new years morning in the middle of the tropical rainforest.


a side note: certainly not a pb, but that (even without the rain) wasnt my intent, it was to simply bring in the new year with a friend, but in the end, i would have liked a good result, took 4:10, my pb for it is 3:27 - under the circumstances, i am pleased with the time though.

from the lowest of lows, to the highest of highs. ah, THAT, is life.


Post a Comment