wintermoon (un)w00t

a dose of music, a dash of wine and
merryment the combo is SUPPOSED to make?

hindsight: noun. [hahynd-sahyt]
recognition of the realities, possibilities, or requirements of a situation, event, decision etc., AFTER its occurrence. 
should have gone and done the hilly half. hindsight? ALWAYS the best teacher. ah well.

eeyore. my favourite winnie the pooh character. i relate to eeyores dragging mood and never moreso reminded than today, of how eeyore like i am  :(

"eeyore people”?  they suck. try not to hang around them. ever.
the characterisitic gloomy, low expecting, depressed donkey mirrors my personality. my gloomy low expecting depressed self, isn't a pretty person. im certainly not, someone, anyone would want to hang out with ...

disney describes eeyore this way:
**Eeyore is everyone’s favorite delightfully dismal donkey. Eeyore doesn’t actually see himself as gloomy — he just has low expectations. He expects nothing from anybody, so whenever his friends do come to his aid his expectations of the worst are overthrown, and he is sincerely grateful. Eeyore’s tiny bright pink bow on his tail, the one hint of color against his gray, is a perfect symbol of the kernel of joy that occasionally surfaces in Eeyore. Though he may pretend he’s helping because there’s nothing better to do — make no mistake, Eeyore is always there for his friends.**

the day: i was so excited about going to wintermoon... but, things didnt go as i expected, and on that discovery, i turned myself in the blink of an eye, into an eeyore ... i felt the change. even *i* would NOT have wanted to have spent time with me after that...

however. its nice to get away from airlie now and again and take a break though, was super nice to see kerrin relaxing, laughing and dancing ... regardless of my presence ... so i guess thats all that matters. \o/
just wish i had been able to turn it around more successfully and i had enjoyed it  ... for, surrounded by hundreds upon hundreds of people ... i have never felt, so more alone. turned to alcohol to get me through in the end, otherwise i dont know what i would have done. it worked.
in some way. maybe. thats all that matters too? not, how we actually get through.
sure gets cold out at camerons pocket though!! sleepy drive home... me. the driver. unsure how we actually made it.
not. the finest day of my year. :(

“I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too, So we're really not that different, me and you.” Colin Raye