why do we change

i don't get, that life changes for people when they get a boyfriend or girlfriend? how everything you believed isn't important anymore? the saying is true, we become who we hang out with. my daughter has gone from an active girl, riding her bikes everywhere,going to the gym 3 or 4 times a week, and really eating for nutrition for 90% of the time to a guy glued to her side, getting taxied around everywhere by him, not going to the gym, laying in bed watching tv with him eating chocolate and ice cream. and you can no longer get a conversation in  without his ears listening too. :/ and she says nothing has changed. ? ! :(

in coming home last night - after 4 days at her boyfriends house, including just hanging at his place when he 'apparently ' went to work (he works always 'tomorrow' but is always around? i cant see how she is even attracted to someone with no goal or desire in life to change anything when she is so full of it but that's her call of course) but - i got about 60 seconds of her time last night at the end of nadal playing, which is when she walked in. something that connected us in the past - they were on the tie breaker, she gave it a glance and an oooh and then grabbed him and into the shower they went. and this morning (before she went to work, starting at 2 in the afternoon) about 2 minutes of her time when he was doing the dishes. but i even had to call her away for that.
why was he doing the dishes? a couple weeks ago i said to him he is no longer a visitor, he is part of the furniture, and those who are part of the furniture contribute to the household in cleaning up after themselves. whoever cooks, the other cleans. always been a rule. previous to that she cooked for him, i cleaned their mess up (i aren't always invited to eat, i have to make sure i get on the list), while he sits either in her room or on the couch on his phone. my thoughts of him is one of lazy, but she assures me he isn't, so im yet to see that fire side of him) needless to say, since that conversation he has only stayed the once, i cooked breakfast, he said he wasn't hungry and that he had leftovers waiting for him at home. :((((((( that. was hurtful. and then mostly they are now at his place. i guess his mother runs around after him doing everything.

im so sad. she hasn't even asked how my week has been. or how is my work. i got fired yesterday :( i have a job trial tonight with another position - no good luck for that, no question about that.

and she wonders why i feel hurt?
pre boyfriend, she'd ask about all that. she's share her whole day. and ask a bout mine (eventually).

so as she walked out the door to go to work this morning (in his taxi service - i think that's all he does now) was asked could i make an appointment to see her. maybe next monday (monday tuesday are her weekend) :/ and thanked her for asking after me and seeing how i was for work. i got an eye roll. well. unless i ask, im not going to see her.

she hasn't been to the gym in over 2 weeks, she doesn't eat healthy anymore. the woman she became over the past 6 months eith loads of guidance from some courses she did, has gone. she doesn't see it of course. all they do is watch tv and eat chocolate. :/ i guess going to the gym would part him from her for an hour?

i do understand her attraction, she told me about a part of it right near the beginning. he has a family. i cannot provide that for her. his family are big drinkers, i don't, my past has given me enough to know that change of me is the better but of course she never knew that old me, (thankfully, but maybe i should change back to alcoholic ann and i might be fun to be around). his family has sisters and nieces and nephews that don't exercise but drink and eat and be merry.  i tried to create it at christmas but failed - by christmas evening, i was driving her to his house amid arguments together. not a fun christmas at all. and then never saw her until the following week after that too. i guess i understand, who wold want to spend time with me right!

all i ever want to do is cry. i hope she comes back sometime to the person she was. she needs an active and exciting guy, that shares a vision that she has, not necessarily the same, i do believe opposites can attract and couples need points of difference, but i think they need to have the same energy levels and values - a guy that is active and wants to actually achieve something in life. she knows that and that part she did say to me early on and said she had already had a discussion with him. nothing has changed though. i guess when you're young - you really do think you can change someone. he is not going to ever change. and eventually she will tire and - that saddens me too. i don't want her feeling hurt. or him for that matter.
i hope. one day. she goes back to wanting her own dreams and not take herself backwards to someone elses lethargy and unhealthy habits. she has worked so hard to get to where she has.  i wish and hope she finds a vibrant young man with the same values and is able to then fulfil all the dreams she has with a fun and interesting and happy partner.

its hard as a mother, watching that slide backwards, and them just diss'ing you like a retarded nag when you try to converse with them. that's what i am. a retarded nag :(

oh i am so sad.


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