a depressed mind

i am pushing people away :/ i SO dont want to, i cant think, there is one person that likes me at the moment ... but i cant stop it... all im doing is arguing with people, saying horrible things and pretty much telling them to f*** off or to leave me alone. and they are
:(
i dont *really* want that.
but its done. and i cant change the damage i have created. i am nasty.

... i really just hate me. exactly like everyone else.