none today

feelings this past few days ... i am always tired, lethargic, do i do too much? or is it simply not enough good nutrition for my bodies requirements
have not done anything at the gym since monday :( three days and i feel i am fat and lazy and just a pig, and

apathetic
depressed/suicidal ideations

i am really so tired of just wanting to die all the time. it takes all my energy and effort to rid the thoughts and i am simply, emotionally, drained.

dramatic? mayhaps. not in my eyes, my mind is tired and i miss my mum since, well, since new years day more than ever - damn me. damn life.

how can i think so dumbly?