keep on keeping on

i have decided to keep trying, a few days maybe i have left here at most, ... dont give up till the fat lady sings, isnt that what they say .... and i know should i leave badly again, i wont like myself for it ... i cant control someone elses feelings but i can at least try, so i know it wasnt me that gave up, ...i have sent text and email, saying i wont give up, and thats all i can do ...
so, yesterday was spent trying to pack, we finally got word we have the house we want ... this is its internet description ...



Private Hideaway
Summary: Peace and tranquility in your very own private paradise in the Whitsundays. This 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom cottage has magnificent 180 degree seaviews over Conway Beach. It has polished floorboards, is freshly painted, has open-plan living and an above ground pool. On large acreage with its own rainforest, there is a large native garden with maintenance included. Small dog or cat considered. Renting for $285 per week plus costs and available now. Inspections by appointment only.

the decision

although its been lurking in the background of my mind, and driving many crazy with my indecision to be able to do so adequately to satisfy them, last night, i made *the decision*

and it came so easily, - with the slamming of a friendship into nothingness, yet, lost so long ago, but hung onto like some clawed out mountainside waiting to avalanche... a sad way to end, and an unnecessary way, but i guess the other person involved saw no other answer ... just a wham bam thank you ma'am for the pleasure while you gave it but im bored with you now, friendship, slowly dissolving, boom, gone.

so, i now, pack myself and storm up, somehow, as quickly as possible and make the bold move away from everything as we have known it to be for the past five years and adventure out into that world of the unknown, full of excitement, nervousness